I need to get myself and my son healthy. Seriously people. We cannot go through life like this. I feel like Wyatt is getting bigger and bigger before my eyes, and it's not in a good way.
I gained like 5 pounds according to my doctor's scale and that just sucks.
What the hell do I do? I make excuses for this all the time but what the hell am I supposed to do?
Here I am running headlong into 30 and everything I thought I'd have accomplished definitely is NOT accomplished.
I truly feel like a failure. I know that this is an awful way to judge myself, but the reality here is that if you cant be hard on yourself then you have no right to be hard on anyone else.
I want so badly to not look at myself and think only about how fat I am. I want to look at myself and not think about those huge rolls of back fat. Or perhaps how about looking in the mirror and not seeing every single bad thing that's wrong with me?
Yes yes, women's body image, all bad blah blah blah. Well, that's all good and well, but that doesn't mean I don't know exactly how I look. I know how wide I am. I know that when I sit down my stomach is huge. I know my hair is thinning which just freaks me the EFF out.
What am I supposed to do here people? I'm literally falling apart. I've cut gluten out of my life and that has made a huge difference, but seriously it's also depressing. Gluten free alternative products are SOOOO expensive. Scratch that, healthy ANYTHING is expensive. Color me depressed.
On the countdown here, almost at 100 days and you know what. I'm just about ready to call it quits.
K
I gained like 5 pounds according to my doctor's scale and that just sucks.
What the hell do I do? I make excuses for this all the time but what the hell am I supposed to do?
Here I am running headlong into 30 and everything I thought I'd have accomplished definitely is NOT accomplished.
I truly feel like a failure. I know that this is an awful way to judge myself, but the reality here is that if you cant be hard on yourself then you have no right to be hard on anyone else.
I want so badly to not look at myself and think only about how fat I am. I want to look at myself and not think about those huge rolls of back fat. Or perhaps how about looking in the mirror and not seeing every single bad thing that's wrong with me?
Yes yes, women's body image, all bad blah blah blah. Well, that's all good and well, but that doesn't mean I don't know exactly how I look. I know how wide I am. I know that when I sit down my stomach is huge. I know my hair is thinning which just freaks me the EFF out.
What am I supposed to do here people? I'm literally falling apart. I've cut gluten out of my life and that has made a huge difference, but seriously it's also depressing. Gluten free alternative products are SOOOO expensive. Scratch that, healthy ANYTHING is expensive. Color me depressed.
On the countdown here, almost at 100 days and you know what. I'm just about ready to call it quits.
K
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