288-285

I'm pretty sure I'm going through a phase. Everything has been pissing me off. I'm so cranky call the time. I don't wrote on here nearly as often as I should. It's just a weird phase.

I need to stop putting my nose where it doesn't belong.

I need to stop pretending I'm more important than I am.


Ok, that's enough for tonight.

K

289

I came across some old letters I'd written myself over 6 years ago. I came to a conclusion that I've known for quite some time now.

I let other people influence my life entirely too much. It's just strengthened my resolve to get back to being "Kristi" again.

Things are goin to get better. They have to, because I refuse to be unhappy and disappointed all the time.

Just wanted to share.

K

292-290

So, I finally went to the doctor this morning and sure enough, I've got a sinus infection and bronchitis. Apparently it can't ever be easy with my body. My body hates me. :(


I know that I haven't been keeping very good track of things this year. Maybe it's because I'm already over that 30 hump so I feel kinda lost and just blah. Perhaps it's just because so far 2013 sucks sideways. I"m not 100% sure, but so far I'm not really enjoying my time. I haven't really lost any more weight. I've been depressed and miserable, I did something I dont want anyone to know about because yeah, I said it'd never happen again.

I've discovered I'm very very jealous and also a very bad person. I'm tired of being me, and I hate that I'm broke all the time. I mean seriously can I PLEASE just win the lottery already? I promise I wouldn't turn into one of THOSE lottery winners. I already know what I'd do. Pay off all my debt, my Gramma's debt and my  parents debt. Get my Gramma new eyes and better health. Then, give all the remainder to Doc to invest for me and live off the interest, guaranteeing that Wyatt has a trust fund and all the money he could ever need for his future.

Oh yeah, and I'd make sure the piece of shit asshole that thinks himself Soooooo wonderful, doesnt get a dime and gets fucked in the ass. Why you ask? Because he deserves to be taken down about 6 pegs from where he thinks he stands in life. He deserves nothing but misery.

Yes, I realize that was a bit gloom and doom and is possibly illegal thoughts, but seriously a girl should only be expected to take so much. I can't take it anymore. I don't WANT to play this part anymore.

I want to be Kristi Lynn Harvey again. I'd almost completely forgotten her, but I'm trying to find her again. Sorry if you stumble upon this post, I promise I'm not crazy or sociapathic, I'm just fed up with doing everything for everyone else and basically being left out in the cold.


Cheers,
Kristi

294 & 293

Being able to escape into the world of fiction, whether it be on television or through the written word, is one of life's greatest pleasures.

Just Sayin'


If you have not watched "How I Met Your Mother" (HIMYM) Then you are missing one of the greatest shows ever.


Lots of Love,
Kristi

298-295

Don't have an excuse really, other than being sick and miserable all weekend. I'm obviously having issues being as focused this year.

According to my horoscope, this is supposed to be an amazing year for me. I have to keep reminding myself that it's only January. I'm just disappointed is all.

Mostly, I'm disappointed in myself. I thought I'd had epiphanies and all these wise insights into my life, but now I'm just really not sure.

K

300 & 299

You know, I have to wonder sometimes if my bad karma is really just playing games with me, or if I truly deserve all the bad things that happen to me.

I am hopeful that karma will catch up with everyone. I truly am. I just wish I could stand up for myself one day.

Ever feel like no matter what you do, you just can't seem to win?

I've been feeling like that every day. It's a terrible feeling.

302 & 301

I will NOT get sick...I will NOT get sick!!

Seriously, I am feeling so blah right now. I think I put myself through too much this week.

Gotta get past this.

304 & 303

Since I can't seem to get my words to do the talking, it seems its always safe to let my music do it for me. Here's some more songs to enjoy... in no particular order of preference.

1.Neko Case "People Got a Lotta Nerve" Just because I met this guy at my friend's work and he was very ...Indy/Bluesy/Jazzy/Nerd and we talked about the "vibe" lol So here's to you Justin: from the basement. ;)

2. The Counting Crows "Round Here" because it's from Charmed and even though it's considered really old now, it's still one of my all-time favorite shows, and in reality how I fell in love with my son's name.

3. Jason Mraz "I'm Yours" Well....I'm going totally random in my iTunes Library and it's what I just fell on, but you know what? This is a great song. I'm Yours!!!!

4. Eminem ft. Rihanna "Love the Way You Lie" Don't know why but this song always gets me.

5.Mary Chapin Carpenter "10,000 miles" Not sure why I just picked this one, but it always makes me think of Fly Away Home with Anna Paquin, you know before she became the slutty vampire sex toy she is today in True Blood. AAAAaaaannnd of course before she was blonde. lol No offense Anna Paquin, I still love you, but it's hard to reconcile the cute little girl who loved the geese with the naked lady on True Blood. So, I dedicate this song to anyone who remembers Fly Away Home and who loved it.

I hope you all have a great week. If not a single solitary soul is reading this, that's okay too. I hope that no matter who reads this, or passes by, or even if it's just in internet purgatory forever, I hope you find a new song here and there, or a new way to listen to music.


Lots of Love,
Kristi

306 & 305

Just call me Slacker McSlacks-a-Lot,

That should be my new name. It's just been too difficult to write lately. It's almost like I have a HUGE barrage of things to talk about but they all just float around in my  head not doing anyone, myself included, any good.

Do you know I have a problem? I like beauty supplies/make-up/hair supplies. I mean, ok, to be fair I AM a girl, but what do I DO with them? Basically nothing.

I'm really trying to get myself in gear, in some ways. However, in others I'm pretty standard Kristi. I'm still hoping to lose another 30 lbs by the time Ashley's wedding gets here, but I can tell you I am NOT going to hold my breath.

So, I'm focused on getting my hair healthier this year, as you already know. I'm trying to read up on organic beauty products, and I'm trying to make my life's footprint mean something more.


I am STILL a work-in-progress, my friends. I'm kinda feeling like we all are. :)

More another time...


K

309&307

Is it worse to think you're smarter than average and find out you're not OR to Think the world is smarter than average and find out they are massively overestimated?

310

Is it Spring yet? I honestly can't believe I'm saying this, but I am SOOOO over this winter. I want it to be over.

By the way...even if you are content with your own company for long periods of time, being alone sucks.

Just wanted to share.

k

311

So, I've got this feeling that this is going to be a very "feel sorry for myself" kind of month. The whole 30 thing just kinda blows. My horoscope is interesting for this year. It basically says I'll find love, success and all sorts of happiness this year. I'm not really sure I'm feeling it. I'm open Emperor of the Universe, I'm still waiting.

K

312

Things have been kinda crazy lately. I've been thinking a lot about a lot just not saying much.

I'll keep you posted!!