I am not a vindictive person. I truly don't wish horrible things to happen to people. I don't really wish for revenge and to be honest I rarely stick up for myself in the way that I should. I have long feared that I have a heightened empathic ability which impedes my day-to-day interactions. It makes it hard for me to handle negative reinforcement or really any negative reactions to things I may have said or done.
I don't really believe that the truth shall set you free. There are so many instances when instead of telling a secret you should really just keep everything to yourself. What kills me is that I've been really honest lately in a certain situation and all it's done is get me stomped on relentlessly. It's made me cry and feel miserable. It's turned a simple situation into a battle royale.
So, to those who feel that honesty is a virtue, I say. Bullshit. I am going to call absolute and total bullshit.
I am so tired of giving in and giving way. I am so tired of giving and giving and receiving nothing but ridicule and mistrust and poison in return. When will it end? When will all of this be over?
I have no answers. I can only hope that within time all answers will reveal themselves. One thing I DO believe in? Time heals all wounds. By healing, I don't mean erases them. It just smooths the rough edges. I am cursed with a weird memory for conversations that I hold onto for pretty much ever. So, I know that grudges can be held and distrust is inevitable. There are those who prefer to live their lives in a constant state of mistrust and misappropriated guilt. I am choosing to rise above it this time. I've spoke my piece and said how I feel. I am not responsible for someone's inability to realize the truth even when it's spoken to them.
It hurts and it's depressing, but I can't make someone SEE what they don't want to SEE. It's just like in The Mortal Instruments and in The Percy Jackson series. The mist is powerful and doesn't just affect how someone sees the mortal world, it affects their ability to see beyond what they believe as well.
Somehow, I've got to just keep on moving and focus on myself for once.
K
I don't really believe that the truth shall set you free. There are so many instances when instead of telling a secret you should really just keep everything to yourself. What kills me is that I've been really honest lately in a certain situation and all it's done is get me stomped on relentlessly. It's made me cry and feel miserable. It's turned a simple situation into a battle royale.
So, to those who feel that honesty is a virtue, I say. Bullshit. I am going to call absolute and total bullshit.
I am so tired of giving in and giving way. I am so tired of giving and giving and receiving nothing but ridicule and mistrust and poison in return. When will it end? When will all of this be over?
I have no answers. I can only hope that within time all answers will reveal themselves. One thing I DO believe in? Time heals all wounds. By healing, I don't mean erases them. It just smooths the rough edges. I am cursed with a weird memory for conversations that I hold onto for pretty much ever. So, I know that grudges can be held and distrust is inevitable. There are those who prefer to live their lives in a constant state of mistrust and misappropriated guilt. I am choosing to rise above it this time. I've spoke my piece and said how I feel. I am not responsible for someone's inability to realize the truth even when it's spoken to them.
It hurts and it's depressing, but I can't make someone SEE what they don't want to SEE. It's just like in The Mortal Instruments and in The Percy Jackson series. The mist is powerful and doesn't just affect how someone sees the mortal world, it affects their ability to see beyond what they believe as well.
Somehow, I've got to just keep on moving and focus on myself for once.
K
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