Frustration

Wyatt-When he ISN'T acting like the Devil's Spawn

Can I please just have a day where I'm not disappointed or frustrated? I mean...really? I am really starting to feel like a terrible Mom. My son is soooo lazy. All he ever wants to do is play games (any kind) or watch tv. He has absolutely no desire to read, no desire to sing or listen to music. None. Ever single thing in my life that gives me joy he hates. I know that you cant expect your kids to like what you like, I'm prepared for him to like really shitty music and crappy horror movies, but this is just getting to be too much. I want so much more for him than what I've got or what his Dad became. He doesnt give a shit. He's only 7 and he truly just wants to do nothing but play. He doesnt understand responsibility or not always getting your way. He doesnt appreciate anything. I hate it. I swear he's so damn spoiled. Nothing helps.

I spent the past 30-45 minutes going over his spelling words with him, why so long, you ask? Because no matter how many times I would tell him how to properly spell a word he couldn't do it. He kept spelling it wrong. I'm soooooo sick of this. Why, if I was going to be left alone for the rest of my life, couldn't God have at least given me a child who was as smart as me? I know how that sounds, I'm perfectly aware it isnt PC to say such a thing. Well, too damn bad. Its true. I want my son to have things come easier. Why couldn't he be just a smidge more like me? I honestly can't remember a time that something like reading or spelling was hard for me. Math, yes, I remember that being difficult. It makes me so angry. I just get so fed up that he doesn't even try. You have to understand that he CAN do it. Its just that he is too damn lazy to try. I'll tell you this much, if it was something he cared about he would remember it word for word. I know how his mind works and I've tried to get him to not be lazy and nothing I do works. NOTHING. I want him to be happy but this is driving me insane. See, I'm a terrible Mom. The only consolation I have is that I do everything in my life to make sure he is taken care of to the best of my ability. Maybe I need to try harder.I'm just so frustrated. Wish me luck I guess. I do love my son, and I'm sad that we can't share this little piece of life. Its such a hard lesson to learn that your child will never be what you thought in your head and pushing them that way just kills their spirit. (sigh)

Wyatt and I-When we aren't trying to kill each other. See we do love one another!!This is proof!!

Until Tomorow,
Kristi