315-50 days Today

Three hundred and fifteen days until THAT DAY. I can't believe it's been 50 days since I started posting every day. Wow...time really does creep up on you and punch you in the face. Then steals your wallet. What a bitch!

I'm still holding strong with the Mt Dew thing, as far as everything else? You'd think I'd be doing a lot better and have a whole lot more to report wouldn't you? How boring is this blog?! Seriously, I have a feeling I'm most likely going to read these later this year and wonder WTF was my problem. Clearly at this particular moment in time, I know my problem is that I'm sick, it takes me MONTHS to get over being sick, and also, I'm out of shape. Way overweight and I just want my life to change dammit. UGH!!!! I'm so impatient. I'm trying here. I'm REALLY FREAKING TRYING!!!

Note to future self: You are at that point Kristi. You NEED to keep at it. Just because you fall off the wagon once or twice doesn't give you the right to eat horribly for the rest of the year. You are NOT and I repeat NOT going to turn 30 looking how you look now. You are NOT going to turn 30 with the attitude, health and problems you have right now. Keep freaking doing it. Eventually, it will get easier. It will be like you've been doing it all along. I know it sucks now, I know it's hard and you just want to order pizza, but it has to stop. You make these promises and paint these pictures in your head of what you want to be but it never ever comes to fruition. WE cannot let that happen this time. Three Zero. It's a big number it's a CHANGING number, it's AWFUL. I know it's awful, but it cannot be avoided unless we die, which I would really prefer didn't happen. Sooooooooo.....please wherever you are in the journey we started 50 days ago, don't stop trying. Don't give up and keep on going.

Bright Spot of this week? Karrie is due to have her baby 02/02/12 and that is in two days....I'm hoping she goes soon!!! Keep your fingers crossed....oh wait... you probably already know the baby and he's part of the everyday family life....awwwwww give him a kiss for me and post a picture of him. :)

Okay, so now that the schizophrenia is out of the way. 50 days today. Seems a little hard to believe actually. I don't feel miraculously changed like a lot of people when they go on diets. I clearly have more to learn than most, but at the same time I think it's that I need to change more things. UGH why can't this just be easier.

I want to look like Stana Katic. lol

Thanks and Good-Nite

Lots of Love,
Kristi